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BEFORE WE MET (Part 1)

 RELATIONSHIP STEREOTYPE: BEFORE WE MET 

(Part 1)

One of the reasons many singles who desire a relationship or marriage still don't have it is because of what I call relationship stereotyping. 


What is a stereotype?

In social psychology, a stereotype is a generalized belief about a particular category of people. It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a specific group. 


Another good definition I like is that stereotype is a mistaken idea or belief many people have about a thing or group that is based upon how they look on the outside, which may be untrue or only partly true. 


Stereotypes in it's simplest form are about mind programming. 

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We are in a world where racism is still a thing, and in my own country Nigeria, tribalism is still thriving. Parents stop their kids from getting married to the one they love because of what they believe about a tribe or an experience they had with a particular person from a place. 


Growing up, we have been programmed to believe things about different people from different places without giving individuals the opportunity to show us who they truly are. 


To some parts of the outside world, Nigerian's are generally known as scammers because of the crime of few individuals. I am using this so that you can easily understand how harmful stereotyping is. You get to miss out on opportunities because of where you are coming from. 


This is precisely what most of you are playing out in your dating life. Just because your friend had a bad experience with a guy, she believes all men are scum, and you start categorizing men that way without any man hurting you yet. 


I hear some people make statements as 'they will still cheat,' 'everybody cheats,' etc. And some of these people are your best friends, and you hang out every day, and over the years, they have programmed you into believing that nobody can be faithful; therefore, you go around with the mindset that everyone cheats and even expects your partner to cheat. 


This is really bad. You can't allow yourself to be conditioned to believe some things. Even if you have had a certain experience with a particular set of people, that doesn't mean everyone from there is that way. 


You have a great guy in your DM trying to get to know you, but you won't give him any attention because he is from a different place. You won't chat her up because you have hard something about people that look that way. This is how some of you reading this have missed out on great men and women, great life opportunities because of what you have been told and believed. 


My counsel. 


Learn to give people the opportunity to show you who they truly are before you dismiss them. You can always apply caution while doing that. 


We are first human beings before anything else. Whether Black, White, African, Ghanaian, Lagosian, etc. You have flesh and blood first. 


That someone has hurt you doesn't mean everyone will hurt you. There are amazing people who will love you just the way you desire to be loved, but first, you must give them a chance. 


There is a guy on your DM now trying to get to know you. For some of you, he has professed love to you, but the only problem is that he is from somewhere they have told you that guys from there aren't the best. Or because he is short. Why not have an open mind and have an open discussion and get to know him first on a personal level instead of believing all those stereotypes. 


Sir, you like her. You have heard stuff about her. They might even be true. It might have even been a mistake from her side. Why not get to know her first outside what you have been told. Hear her story from her mouth. She might not be proud of it, and God might have planned it for you to come into her life at this point. 


Don't allow stereotypes to stop you from being or meeting the one you love. Love happens to us all in different ways, and we might find it in the weirdest places. You are allowed to have your preferences but don't allow your choice to blind you from seeing the beautiful person God is positioning before you. 


Work or your stereotypes. 


I hope you learned something from this. 


Cheers. 


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Follow my page for more relationship teaching.  https://www.facebook.com/Oceantouch69 

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